Sorryy, this is a pretty long.. this is from the guy’s p.o.v., David. It alternates between him and the girl, Jenna, in the whole story.
here we go:
I stared at my steering wheel, both hands gripping it like it was the only solid thing left in the world. To me, it felt like it was. She had left me about fiffteen minutes ago, striding out across the way over to the little gas station/restaraunt. I watched her walk slowly the whole way there.. speechless, the oxygen knocked clean out of my lungs. She told me what she had been keeping inside for no telling how long… Why I couldn’t be that brave, I don’t know. May have saved me a lot of trouble in the end. Her clear voice told me how she felt about Jeremy.. and me. And well, I couldn’t have felt a more complex feeling. He was utterly my best friend. I would do anything for him, Jonathon, and Garrett. ..And I’d do anything for her. She was beautiful. I loved everything about her. But, my boy… my boy Jeremy. Ole’ Jeremo.
Shit. I had fallen in love with a girl that had already been fallen in love with. And there was nothing I could do about it. I had to grip my seat to keep from jumping up and flying after her as she walked away, hold my hand back to keep from wiping the tears that flowed down her creamy cheeks. And looking into those big blue eyes, them filled with tears…it broke my heart.
I felt myself smile as I remembered how gorgeous she looked as she spun around in the pouring rain… how sensual. That girl was a picture. Honestly, the sweetest most darling thing I’d ever seen. I couldn’t believe she said what she did.. about me finding another girl.. Damn, if she only knew.
Then, I couldn’t help but think of Jeremy. How he talked about her alllll the time. In love? Ha, he adored Jenna. But then again, I did, too.
So I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Go for the girl you love, that loves you back, and break your best friend’s heart? Or leave the amazing girl be, miss out on the chance of a lifetime.. know you’ll probably never feel the same way again, and keep your friend happy with you. At that time, I faintly felt a warm tear rolling down my still wet cheeks.
I don’t know… I just don’t know! Love was crazy! It had me doing stuff I’d never thought I’d do before! I’d never even half way consider choosing a girl over my buds.. ever. Maybe talk to them about it if there was a conflict and I liked her enough. But this girl… dammmnn. She had me thinking otherwise.
What was I going to do?
Jeremy was ultimately my best friend. End of story.
…I couldn’t hurt him like this. I had to leave her be. God, this was going to hurt sooo bad…
I took what little strength left in me and put the truck in reverse. I started backing out of the parking lot and rode over to Dodge’s.
Why did you fall in love with her?? Why did you do this to yourself?
I had my mind painfully set to be clear and stern with her as I parked and climbed out of the truck. But as soon as I walked in, saw her sitting there, her long, thick hair damp and hanging in soft waves, her light clothes dark and damp, sticking to her creamy skin as those big blue eyes lit up when they looked up at me… I was deteriorated.
We looked at each other for a moment, and as I felt my gaze softening and saw her tear stained cheeks, I quickly tried snap out of it and tried to cover up the very deep affection I had for her.. something extremely hard to do. I swallowed and looked down at my feet, sticking my hands in my pockets.
"I think we should be getting back to Starkville."
I could feel the way she was looking at me.. so sad and heartbroken. I knew not to even DARE to look back.
After a moment, she got up, grabbed her coke, and threw away her seemingly untouched food. She stared at the floor as she walked out the door, and all I could see was her long eyelashes.
I sighed internally swallowing down a lump of hurt as I saw the confusion in her eyes and wished to God I hadn’t kissed her.. even though I had dreamed of it since I met her, I wish I hadn’t made everything worse today… But, the way her lips slid over mine and her hands combed through my hair… wow. I shook my head and climbed in the driver’s side of the truck as she climbed in the passenger’s.
She remained so quiet the ride back, it worried me. I couldn’t even hear her breathing. I wanted to just pull over and reach over there and cup her face in my hands. But I might as well quit wishing those things.
At a quarter after four, we pulled up at her apartment, and we sat idly, not having said one thing since back at Dodge’s.
I looked over at her and watched as she sighed. She then slowly opened up the door and my breath caught in my throat.
"Jen?"
She looked over at me with soft eyes.
"I’m sorry."
She looked at me and narrowed her eyes, her way of holding back tears.
"Me too."
I looked at her and felt my heart shattering bit by bit.
"..We can still be friends.. can’t we?" I pleaded.
She looked at me, "…I guess."
"Alright."
I tried a small smile on her, and she seemed to just turn away from me, walking up the steps to the apartment doorway. As I watched her walk away, my heart broke into a billion little pieces. Tears welled up in my eyes. I stared at my steering wheel for minutes. As I finally put in in drive and started pulling back out onto the highway, those tears exploded. I was crying.. crying hard. As I drove carelessly down the highway, I propped my elbow up on the door and put my hand to my mouth and steered with one hand, crying even harder.
I pulled up to the apartments and sighed, wiping my face. My shorts were still damp and and so was my shirt, but as far as my hair, it had dried completely. I walked slowly up to the door, got the key out of my pocket, and unlocked the door. Jonathon was sitting on the couch watching.. a chick flick? Jeremy must still be at his parents’ convention.
I walked in and plopped down on the large couch after removin
gmy wet Airmax’s. Jonathon made a second glance at me and I could feel him boring a hole in the side of my head.
"Dude.. you look rough.. why are you so wet?"
I leaned over and put my hands on my face, propping my head up by placing my elbows on my knees.
"What happened??"
".. Everything."
His voice suddenly heightened, "Like… what kind of everything?"
I closed my eyes.
"Ahhhh, man… you didn’t…" he grimaced/
I shook my head once, removing my hands from my face.
I finally met his eyes.
"What did y’all do?"
My voice lowered, "I… kissed her."
He looked at me dumbfounded.
"Oh geez…"
I nodded, grimacing closed-mouthed. We were quiet for minutes.
"And the reason you’re damp is..?"
I met his eyes, then looked off, smiling a bit.
"We danced in the rain.."
He rose his eyebrows at me, "You danced.. in the rain…?"
"Yeah."
"Where?"
"Keenum Stadium."
He shook his head, "So this is where you kissed her at?"
I nodded.
He stared at me.
"What did she say..?"
I sho
ookmy head and scrunched my eyebrows.
"She told me… she loved me."
His eyes widened.
"You’re kidding.."
I shook my head.
…"What are you gonna’ do?"
I shook my head and replied breathlessly, "I have no idea."
We were quiet for many minutes.
"Are you gonna’ tell him?"
I thought for a moment.. "Yeah.. but not right now."
He looked and me and slowly nodded.
"Listen, you can’t tell him anything of this.. alright?"
"Oh, don’t worry man.. I won’t."
I nodded, "Thanks, man."
"Soo.. is she.. coming around anymore, or…?"
"I don’t think so."
"It ended that bad?"
"It didn’t end good.."
He shook his head.
"I’m gonna miss her… she was the funnest girl I’d ever met."
I sighed and leaned back on the couch.
"I know."
I looked at the TV.
"Dude, what the hell are you watching?"
"…The Notebook."
I looked at him.
"What? It’s freaking good!"
I looked at him weirdly and chuckled softly.
I looked at the screen and noticed the blonde-headed character from Remember the Tita
s.
"I want all of you.. forever.. you and me!!"
I stared at the screen at the actress who played on Sherlock Holmes.. Rachel? Rachel Mcadams?
This scene only made me hurt worse. Love. Love sucked.
We were suddenly interrupted by my phone buzzing on the end table.
We looked at each other then I slowly got up and grabbed it. The name I saw wasn’t the one I wanted to see.
Morgan.
I sighed then answered.
"Hello?"
"Hey, David!"
"Hey, Morgan.."
"What are you doing?"
"Watching TV…"
"Oh.. well, I was wondering.. if you wanted to come over tonight," she said softly, "It would just be.. you and me.. alone."
I rolled my eyes and looked at the ceiling.
"Actually, I’m not feeling too well.."
"Oh.. well, I’m sorry.."
"Yeah.."
"Okay, well I’ll talk to you later, then?"
"Okay. Bye, Morgan."
"Bye, David."
I ended the call and starting walking to my room. I looked at my phone and noticed I had 16 messages, half of them from girls wanting me to hang out with them tonight. Three
years ago, I would be floating on air.. which I probably was because I had had this problem with girls since nineth grade. Back then, I wouldn’t consider it a problem. But right now, all I wanted was one girl. Forget the rest.
"You going to bed?"
"Yeah, man."
"Alright."
But as I headed for the door, I heard the front door open and close.
"Hey, Jon!"
I froze and looked behind me. Jeremy had come in.
"Hey, Jeremo…"
Jonathon quickly glanced at me.
"David!" he grinned.
He looked at the TV.
"Jonathon, what the hell are you watching?"
"Ugh, it’s The Notebook!"
He stared at him weirdly.
"Okay, then."
He looked up at me.
"You going to bed, David??"
"Uh, yeah," I said softly, "Don’t feel too good."
"Ah, I’m sorry, man.."
"It’s okay."
As I walked out, I heard their conversation.
"So, where you going now, Jeremy?"
"Uh.. I think I’m going to head over to Jenna’s. Might do something tonight."
"Oh."
I shut the door behind me, immediately turning out the light. It was goi
ng to be a long night.