What I am about to write is hard and graphic. Only answer if you can stomach this, and can be compassionate. I am a detailed writer and so there is one part that will be painful to read.
I am currently 30 years old. My Grandmother, who lives in Idaho, invited me to come see her. I am not employed and do not have a GED. I am bored and live with my parents. I do have a drivers license, but I don’t drive. I accepted my Grandmother’s offer. She is 77.
One my third day visiting her, she called me to come up to the kitchen. She was inviting to take me out to dinner, to a steak restaurant. I was so hungry and nodded.
"Say, since you’re taking me to dinner- why not let me drive us to the restaurant?" I asked. My Grandmother looked concerned.
"Daniel, your parents told me that you don’t drive and are nervous behind the wheel. I think I’d better drive."
"Oh what! So now you don’t love me?" I looked at her with a very upset glance. And even put a hand on my hip. My Grandmother’s face turned to guilt.
"Of course I love you!" She pleaded, looking sullen.
"Then let me drive! Otherwise I won’t come and see you anymore. And you always tell me how lonely you get." I started making my way back downstairs to my bedroom.
"Okay. You can drive. But be careful."
These last words annoyed me. After all, I was a 30 year-old man. People start driving when they’re 16. When we got into the car, I buckled my seat belt and started the engine. As I backed out of the driveway, I felt confident. I was driving, and Grandma was letting me.
"Well you’re doing okay." My Grandmother was impressed. I turned the corner and made sure to have my signal on. And then it happened. As I was driving towards the freeway, I had the urge that comes over me sometimes when I am walking or riding my bike. I have the urge to squint my eyes shut really hard, just to see what happens. It’s almost like a uncontrolled twitch. I began sweating to fight the urge but I couldn’t. I closed my eyelids as hard as I could, and of course now I was driving and not able to see. I kept them closed for a good 10 seconds. Then my Grandmother screamed. As I twitched and made a "uhhh" sound, that I often make when Im done clasping my eyes down, I saw what my Grandmother was screaming at. We had made the freeway, and the car had swerved and we were in the middle of rushing traffic. As car horns blared, I saw it. The semi-truck.
There was a loud SMASH sound and our car was crashed into by the truck. Glass flew everywhere, and through my blurred vision I saw my Grandmother’s face look horrified as glass hit her face, and blood began oozing from her neck. I myself felt strong pressure in my lower half and realized I couldn’t move. Then it all went black. I awoke to sirens and saw in the distance firetrucks and a few cop cars coming my way. I also heard commotion- bystanders looking in. Thank God I was alive. I looked to my right to see if my Grandmother was okay, but I stopped stone cold. There lay my Grandmother- dead. Her lifeless body looked at me. Her eyes were glazed open, like a dead fish. I could smell the blood from her neck and also her ripped open stomach- pieces of glass and air bag were in it. I couldn’t believe that my little twitch attack had caused my Grandmother to die. Perhaps, I thought, this is why my parents never wanted me to learn to drive. They knew I had twitched a lot.
Because my health insurance covered me, I was okay. No major injuries. The semi-truck man was very upset with me, as he lost a lot of money in the damages to his vehicle. My Dad came screaming into the hospital and yelled at me "You Killed my Mother! You fucking bastard!" He was crying and hurt. I was not invited to the funeral services and my parents kicked me out of the house. I now live with a friend up north. This incident happened well over 2 months ago but I can still feel the accident, still see my Grandmother’s dead face looking at me- still hear the chilling anger from my father. How do I get over this? Please only answer if you can help.