what do you think about a part of my story?
okay so this is part of a story that me and my friend are writting and this part is the part of the crash,
no harsh comments please, comment more on the content than the grammer.
I slammed the door shut and clicked in the seat belt, as Mum always insisted, for safety reasons, or it’s the ‘lords wish’, I’d of scoffed at that if I could.
Mum handed over a crying Abbi and I placed her on my knee, rocking her back and forth and letting weird cooing noises escape from my mouth.
She grabbed my finger and placed it in her mouth, her one front tooth scraping it visiously, and I cried and snatched my finger away just as Dad started the car.
"Ouch Abbi!" I snapped, placing my finger in my own mouth to try take the stinging throb away.
Mum turned to scold my baby Sister, but Abbi’s lip quivered slightly and our eyes widened in horror at the sign.
"No, now Abs, I didn’t mean to yell at you, don’t start cryi-" I begin to say, but her high pitched screams of terror rang out loud through the car, and me and Mum covered our ears. "For God sake Mia! Why did you yell at her!? Shut her up!" Dad pleaded from in front, and I searched all around for something for her to play with, but turned up with nothing.
"Give her the teddy bear!" Mum shouted from the front.
"Nothings here!"
I prayed to God that Abbi’s stupidly loud whail would stop, my eardrums would bust!
"Mia! It is here, you’re just being stupid!!" Dad grunted and his head moved to the back of the car, and he took one hand off the wheel to search roud the chairs and floor for the teddy.
My frantic eyes stuck on the outside as the car drove onto the other side of the road, which just so happened to have a huge, red lorry coming towards us.
Everything flashed before my eyes, memories of everything, family, friends, how in just a few seconds everything would be no more.
Thoughts whipped at a lightening speed through my head, and I had just enough time to scrutinise what was happening.
A loud horn blasted through the air, and the huge truck swivelled onto it’s side, protesting with the force the driver pressed against the brake.
It came sliding towards us, so fast I had little time to make my mouth move.
"Dad! The road!" I screamed, Dad’s head suddenly jumped, and a shocked hiss came through his mouth as his head turned towards me, his eyes horrified as they caught mine.
Not another second later, everything turned the most darkest shade of black.
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