Revise the following paragraph, improving it without changing its overall meaning. Look at use of paralleism?
Family get-togethers at my house are always a little bit strange. For one thing, these events usually revolve around some kind of task or situation that requires the expertise of my father. Last weekend was a prime example. Saturday afternoon my father and brother arrived hungry. While my father crawled under my truck to inspect the leaking brake line, I heat up the grill, place plates and utensils on the patio table, and start covering the watermelon with ice. After serving everyone bratwursts, lots of tomatoes, and sauerkraut, I light the citronella candles and settled down to eat. The next morning, my dad and brother arrived early, and they were hungry again. I organized the table, usher them to their seats, and start breakfast. A dozen eggs, pieces of bacon, and some bread later, my male relatives were ready to attack the leaky brakes of my Dodge Dakota.
One Response
embeddeddog
06 Feb 2010



Family get-togethers at my crib are always a little bit wack. Check it out, these events usually revolve around some kind of task or situation that requires the expertise of my pops. Last weekend was a prime example. Saturday afternoon my pops and bro arrived hungry. While my pops crawled under my truck to inspect the leaking brake line, I heat up the grill, place plates and utensils on the patio table, and start covering the watermelon with ice. After serving everyone bratwursts, lots of tomatoes, and sauerkraut, I light the citronella candles and settled down to eat. The next morning, my homeboys arrived early, and they were hungry again. I organized the table, usher them to their seats, and start breakfast. A dozen eggs, pieces of bacon, and some bread later, my male relatives were ready to attack the leaky brakes of my Escalade.