am dating a guy who has said some things that really bug me.
This is a new person and he seems like a very good guy. Everybody who knows him says he’s great. He’s smart, charming , funny ect.
He has also been good to me so far, taken me out on dates, treated me with respect, ect.
But sometimes, he will accidently say something that hurts my feelings. It’s very sublte and little comments but they’re starting to add up and it’s bugging me. We’ve dated about a month and a half now and he calls me his "gf". I need advice! What does this stuff mean?
I’ll use New Year’s Eve as my example:
-I just got my hair highlighted a different color. I’m not a huge fan of it but oh well. He noticed a difference said it looks good and I told him "well I’m glad you like it, my entire family hates it" (true story). We were in a group of people and he goes: "well that’s probably because they don’t want you to look like a stripper"
? (implying that’s what my hair makes me look like)
He knows that upset me. He briefly apologized but continued to hang out with his friends ect not paying much attention to me after that. I would’ve thought if he said that and realized he made a mistake he’d start kissing A** or something but he didn’t.
-In fact, he dind’t pay THAT much attention to me the entire night. I literally chose to hang out with him that night over all my friends who were travelling to another place. He knew this too. But he definitely didn’t reallly go out of his way to make me feel that comfortable or anything.
-We were in a car on the drive home in the very backseat. He told me about the girl sitting in the front seat:
"See that girl up there. She is awesome. She’s like one of my favorite people. We both agreed that if we didn’t meet anybody or date somebody that we would get married at age 35."
-When we were drunk and got home I said "well if I look like a stripper and that girl’s so awesome then why don’t you just go date her instead."
his response: "Have some self confidence"
(granted when I told him he said that the next morning he felt bad)
-The next morning: my best friend stayed at his house too. His heater was broken and he offered my friend his robe, ect to stay warm. He offered clothes/warm things to me as an afterthought. He seemed a lot more concerned about her being cold than me.
-When walking out to my car he offered my best friend his arm to help her down the stairs and not me. Granted I was walking a little ahead of them but it made me mad.
He has a tendency to do this with my friends, he caters to their needs very much so but sometimes treats me like second choice or puts me on the backburner or something.This seems weird to me seeing as how it’s early on the relationship. He also sometimes throws out little putdowns (like the stripper comment) in front of my friends toward me. It’s almost like he’s trying so hard to impress them he puts me down in the process.
interpretations?