PLEASE HELP ?? How to tell a relative they're obese and their hygiene is BAD ?
Okay……so it’s almost Christmas and we’ll be having lots of family get togethers. We have the Auntie who is as wide as she is tall. She’s just the sweetest person you could ever meet. She has damaged several pieces of furniture with her weight BUT…the worst part is her Hoo~Haa smells soooo awful, that it leaves it’s lasting stench wherever it’s been such as cushions,beds, car seats etc….
Can’t she smell herself? I mean seriously….it’s so BAD, nasty, gaggingly gross that NO ONE wants to hug or sit by her. The worst is having her sit in the front seat of the car with you when the heaters on uuhhggggggggggggg
PLEASE HELP !!!
No, she’s not "slow" or "mental". She works a full-time job and lives on her own. Another Auntie thinks she’s too afaid to go to the Doctor as she won’t "fit" on the exam table. And, as far as buying her "smelly stuff" for gifts, NO !!!!! She tries to "hide" the smell (we think) with her Jean Nate’ and White Diamonds….it’s BAD !!
15 Responses
redrancherogirl
13 Feb 2010
melouofs
13 Feb 2010
Her weight is not your problem, but her hygiene is! Someone needs to talk to her very gently–someone she feels very close with.
sassy36
13 Feb 2010
I would make sure there’s no one around and tell her in a soft tune and tell her and make sure your not being funny about it.
Amber
13 Feb 2010
Just tell her politely that she needs to practice good hygiene. Don’t be mean about it! But that way if you tell her she will know it came from someone who cares about her and chances are she’ll fix it. As far as her weight goes, I’d ask her if she wants to join you in the gym and maybe get a membership. If she doesn’t want to see if you can get her to walk some. It’s a start!
Promiscuous Girl
13 Feb 2010
Coming from someone who has had this very Aunt, I know how hard it is to think about confronting her on this issue. Especially if she is as sweet as mine (and you mentioned she is just that). May I suggest you purchase her a hand held shower head to use? It’s got to be difficult to shower in a traditional fashion at that weight. I’m assuming that she is just over looking some very key places since they are tougher for her to reach. Maybe that would make a great holiday gift, along with some nice body wash and spray. She’ll be smelling like roses by Easter!!!
Hope this helps
odaat_1218
13 Feb 2010
I would tell an adult to pull her into another room someplace and say to her in a real nice tone, look honey I love you with all my heart, but I smell you, here is a washrag and some soap, you may use my bathtub as long as you need to but I will not allow you to come into my home and disrespect me like this any longer. Cause the truth is she knows she stinks, but doesnt care, she is really smart I bet.
Doc
13 Feb 2010
TELL HER, not to be cruel but I must ask…is she mentaly slow, that is common with large people that dont know any better and no one has told them that they dont have to go around smelling like they have road-kill in their pants. also, she may be too big to reach it to clean it….might (GAG) offer to help.
Soccer Coach
13 Feb 2010
Tell her she can’t come if she doesn’t clean up. Ti’s the season to be jolly not stinky. Also the reason she stinks is because of old sweat collecting in the folds of fat.
Coach
buttercup
13 Feb 2010
Tell her, you care about her and am sure you are not the only one who has noticed this but be the one to tell her.
If you a relative can feel this way, wot are other people ( like friends ) saying.
It is difficult to say such a thing but gal some1 has to do it.
Good luck.
Roberta
13 Feb 2010
Leave it to her doctor to tell her she is obese; it would be rude of you to comment on her size. And her size may be the reason she finds it difficult to bathe and get as clean as you would like. Give her a basket of pretty soaps, lotions and sprays; maybe she’ll take the hint.
littlechrismary
13 Feb 2010
Maybe she can’t afford a doctor, and needs one.
olzap
13 Feb 2010
well i was hungry, but now thats been taken care of, yuck, nothing worse than a smelly fat hoo haa
HARWOODH
13 Feb 2010
I had the exact same problem with my aunt! If she has children it would be better for them to do this or like your mother or father whom ever is the sister/brother…Have them tell her they love having her around for the holidays but her hygiene is lacking and their worried that something is wrong with her. Now depending on how her attitude is saying it like this should go over pretty smoothly.Good Luck
miki
13 Feb 2010
maybe she developed a type of fungus in between the folds of skin. people can’t ussually smell themselves. i would confront her, maybe she is hiding a medical condition. the family should not have to suffer. she needs to take a bath more often.
CK
13 Feb 2010
Heres what you do.
You can’t tell her she is obese and smells bad. So heres the tactfull way of doing it.
When she comes in for dinner simply say, "Mind if I hose you down in the yard then dry you and spray you with 5 different body sprays?"
She may be a bit confused at first….so tell her everyone is doing it. Tell her you all did it before she got there. Tell her all the cool kids do it.
Then when it comes time for dinner give her 1/8th of the food everyone else gets. You can accomplish this by simply giving her a plate out of your daughters doll house. She won’t even notice!
Put a bottle of feminine soap in her purse when she’s not looking… she won’t know who did it and it will save you and her the embarassment of talking about it…